November 25, 2014
As more and more people heard the miraculous story of Jane, their response was always the same; this needs to be told. I would nod and think to myself, "That's what I am doing... I'm telling you." But in my heart, I knew I was to do more. I knew I was to somehow tell HIS STORY, but I didn't know what that meant. I felt totally incompetent and unqualified. But I knew this wasn't about me or my abilities—it was HIS STORY. What He needed from me was my availability. Who am I to refuse to tell HIS STORY, or decide I am incapable of it?
It was a long, difficult process of acceptance. I hid behind the word "IF" for a very long time. IF—there is to be a book. IF—I am supposed to write something. IF ... IF ... IF. Most people will never know the amount of courage it took for me to quit hiding behind that word and to finally take the step of faith and admit what I knew was the truth. It was not IF—it was WHEN. It was more than just a fear of inadequacy. It was also a fear of being viewed as arrogant and presumptuous. What would people think? Who does she think she is? What does she know about writing a book?
I didn't know meeting Jane E. Wolfe was a divine appointment orchestrated by God or that HE would later want me to tell HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know—
A new realization is slowly sinking in, and it has literally brought me to my knees. The time for "The Book" is now? What?!? I knew I was supposed to someday tell HIS STORY, and I knew when it was time God would show me what to do, but it wasn't something I spent time thinking about or even wondering about. I didn't know when it was supposed to happen. I just thought when it was supposed to happen, it would happen. To be truthful, I was glad it was still somewhere out there in the future and not something I had to deal with yet. Besides, "the storm" wasn't over yet. Surely I had to wait until "the storm" was over to tell HIS STORY.
I didn't know it was time for HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
This is
it. My journal and this blog is what God wants me to do. I had NO idea this was the direction God was going to lead me to. It
was five years ago when I knew I was to start a journal of my journey
through HIS WORD. I'd never kept a journal before. Me, who always
thought it would be neat to journal had never been able to follow
through with any kind of commitment. How many journals do I have stored away with about two entries in them? But this time I knew I was to begin
and there was never a doubt in my mind that I would finish.
I read the Bible through multiple times during the first years of "the storm." I had many dates and notations written throughout the margins of HIS WORD. In order to tell HIS STORY, I knew I would have to somehow organize all of my notations. So my journey of keeping a journal began. I thought my writings were just a private written record of God's faithfulness to leave my children and grandchildren. It took me five years to complete my journey of reading through the Bible while keeping a written record of everything I was learning and recording the events surrounding "the storm" in my journals.
I didn't know HIS STORY was already written—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know—
I
thought I was just going to a nursing home to clear my mind of the vicious accusations and hurt caused by the betrayal of loved ones. I didn't know I was walking into a God-ordained divine appointment which was part of a Master Plan HE had been weaving together for years. Even in my
wildest imagination, I could have never imagined what God had in store
for Jane (Her Name Was Jane) or myself.As more and more people heard the miraculous story of Jane, their response was always the same; this needs to be told. I would nod and think to myself, "That's what I am doing... I'm telling you." But in my heart, I knew I was to do more. I knew I was to somehow tell HIS STORY, but I didn't know what that meant. I felt totally incompetent and unqualified. But I knew this wasn't about me or my abilities—it was HIS STORY. What He needed from me was my availability. Who am I to refuse to tell HIS STORY, or decide I am incapable of it?
It was a long, difficult process of acceptance. I hid behind the word "IF" for a very long time. IF—there is to be a book. IF—I am supposed to write something. IF ... IF ... IF. Most people will never know the amount of courage it took for me to quit hiding behind that word and to finally take the step of faith and admit what I knew was the truth. It was not IF—it was WHEN. It was more than just a fear of inadequacy. It was also a fear of being viewed as arrogant and presumptuous. What would people think? Who does she think she is? What does she know about writing a book?
I didn't know meeting Jane E. Wolfe was a divine appointment orchestrated by God or that HE would later want me to tell HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
A new realization is slowly sinking in, and it has literally brought me to my knees. The time for "The Book" is now? What?!? I knew I was supposed to someday tell HIS STORY, and I knew when it was time God would show me what to do, but it wasn't something I spent time thinking about or even wondering about. I didn't know when it was supposed to happen. I just thought when it was supposed to happen, it would happen. To be truthful, I was glad it was still somewhere out there in the future and not something I had to deal with yet. Besides, "the storm" wasn't over yet. Surely I had to wait until "the storm" was over to tell HIS STORY.
I didn't know it was time for HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know—
I read the Bible through multiple times during the first years of "the storm." I had many dates and notations written throughout the margins of HIS WORD. In order to tell HIS STORY, I knew I would have to somehow organize all of my notations. So my journey of keeping a journal began. I thought my writings were just a private written record of God's faithfulness to leave my children and grandchildren. It took me five years to complete my journey of reading through the Bible while keeping a written record of everything I was learning and recording the events surrounding "the storm" in my journals.
I didn't know HIS STORY was already written—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know—
One year
after I began my journey of keeping a personal journal while reading through the Bible, my worst nightmare happened. My personal writings got caught up in "the storm" and I had to send my private journals to the very people who were seeking our destruction. I felt shell-shocked at the violation of my privacy and I lost confidence in my private thoughts remaining private. For several weeks I quit writing. When I began writing again I started where I was reading at that time. I didn't know The Lost Chapters were saved for such a time as this so the very end of my journey through the Bible would be the fulfillment of Jane's last God-given message of restoration.
I didn't know it was part of God's plan for HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know it was part of God's plan for HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!
I didn't know—
We don't know what we don't know. I didn't know God had plans for my journals. I thought I was just being obedient and following God's lead. That is what it takes. Obedience, and following. It really is that simple. We all have a choice to make. We can choose to make and follow our own paths—or we can choose to follow
HIM on His footpath. We can choose to be angry—or we can choose to forgive. We can
choose to live in fear—or we can choose to believe and trust. We can
choose to serve our own selfish pride—or we can choose to obey HIS
word.
Our decision has been made. We choose to follow. We choose to forgive. We choose to believe. We choose obedience. We choose to surrender ALL. And in the process, God has blessed our lives beyond measure. What was meant for our harm HE has used for our good.
I didn't know our story was going to become HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!!
HIS STORY is woven throughout my entire journals. I stand amazed. Who are we, LORD? "What is man that you are mindful of him?" (Psalm 8) Why would you choose to show yourself to us? We are just simple, ordinary people who have chosen to believe in and serve an extra-ordinary God. This isn't what I expected LORD, but I will tell about YOUR faithfulness. I will tell YOUR Story.
HE took us to our knees so we could rise with HIM. Praise HIS Holy Name.
Our decision has been made. We choose to follow. We choose to forgive. We choose to believe. We choose obedience. We choose to surrender ALL. And in the process, God has blessed our lives beyond measure. What was meant for our harm HE has used for our good.
I didn't know our story was going to become HIS STORY—BUT GOD DID!!
HIS STORY is woven throughout my entire journals. I stand amazed. Who are we, LORD? "What is man that you are mindful of him?" (Psalm 8) Why would you choose to show yourself to us? We are just simple, ordinary people who have chosen to believe in and serve an extra-ordinary God. This isn't what I expected LORD, but I will tell about YOUR faithfulness. I will tell YOUR Story.
HE took us to our knees so we could rise with HIM. Praise HIS Holy Name.
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