II Chronicles 36:2–23

July 24, 2014

Jehoahaz becomes king. After only three months, the king of Egypt dethrones him and replaces him with another one of Josiah's son. Jehoahaz was taken to Egypt.

Jehoiakim becomes king. He did what the LORD said was wrong. King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon attacks Judah, captures Jehoiakim, and takes him to Babylon.

Jehoiachin becomes king. He does what the LORD says is wrong. King Nebuchadnezzar removes some of the valuable things from the LORD's temple and puts them in his own palace. Then he makes Jehoiachin's uncle Zedekiah (another son of Josiah and brother to Jehoahaz and Jehoiakim), king.

Zedekiah becomes king. He too does what the LORD said was wrong. Josiah's sons (Jehoahaz, Jehoiakim, and Zedekiah), and grandson (Jehoiachin) all rejected God's teachings. They all witnessed what happened to their father and grandfather. They witnessed Josiah's love for what was in God's word and how things went well for him. They also witnessed what happened when Josiah stubbornly followed his own ways and things did not go well; but still they rejected the LORD's teachings. God sent the prophet Jeremiah to warn Zedekiah, but he refused to change his heart. The people became more and more wicked. "The LORD had made the temple in Jerusalem holy, but the leaders made it unholy."

The LORD, "sent prophets again and again to warn his people." He had pity on them and he wanted them to change, but they ridiculed and made fun of God's people. They despised God's messages. "They refused to listen to the prophets until, finally, the LORD became so angry with his people that he could not be stopped." (NIV and KJV says until there was "no remedy.")

Because of their disobedience and their refusal to listen to the many messages God sent them, and because they refused to repent and change their hearts, God brought the king of Babylon to attack them and God handed all of them over to King Nebuchadnezzar. They were now totally captive. Nebuchadnezzar completely destroyed the temple and took or destroyed every valuable thing. The people were forced to be his slaves. "And so what the LORD had told Israel through the prophet Jeremiah happened." The country was an empty wasteland for seventy years. (Verse 21)

What the LORD said would happen—happened. 

What happened between II Chronicles 36:21 and II Chronicles 36:23, is the fulfillment of God's promise to Jeremiah recorded in Jeremiah 33. Jeremiah was given the promise of the LORD while he was still locked up in the courtyard of the guards. The LORD tells Jeremiah for the second time, "These are the words of the LORD, who made the earth, shaped it, and gave it order, whose name is the LORD: pray to me, and I will answer you. I will tell you important secrets you never heard before... I will bring them back from captivity... they will enjoy great peace and safety." It looks hopeless, but I the LORD am going to do it. Then the people will say: "Praise the LORD All-Powerful, because the LORD is good! His love continues forever."

The country is in ruins—just as Jeremiah said. The people are captive—just as Jeremiah warned. Then what the LORD said would happen in Jeremiah 33—happened. The last two verses in the last chapter of "The Lost Chapters" records it.

"In the first year Cyrus was king of Persia, the LORD had Cyrus send an announcement to his whole kingdom. This happened so the LORD's message spoken by Jeremiah would come true. He wrote:

This is what Cyrus king of Persia says:

The LORD, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth, and he has appointed me to build a Temple for him at Jerusalem in Judah. Now may the LORD your God be with all of you who are his people. You are free to go to Jerusalem."

God fulfilled HIS promise to free HIS people.

 

Jane's (Her Name Was Jane) last God-given message to us (given in April of 2008) was Jeremiah 33—God's promise of freedom and restoration. When Jeremiah received the promise from God, he was still locked up in the courtyard of the guards. This was the second time God promised him freedom and restoration. We received Jane's last God-given promise of Jeremiah 33, while we were still locked up in "the storm." Jeremiah 33 is also the second time we received God's promise of protection. Jane's first God-given message to us (given in July of 2007) was Psalm 140—God's promise of His protection. How amazing is that? God fulfilled His promise to Jeremiah and He will fulfill His promise to free and restore us. LORD, SO BE IT. Your word is true. Praise the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth, for HIS great faithfulness.

From the Life Lesson: God used the exile to cause the people to repent, and He used a pagan king to rebuild Jerusalem's Temple.

"They were pushed to the edge of existence where they thought they were hanging on by the skin of their teeth, and they found out that in fact, they had been pushed to the center, where God was. They experienced not bare survival but abundant life... Exile is the worst that reveals the best... disaster seems to be good for people. When the superfluous is stripped away we find the essential—and the essential is God... Exile reveals what really matters and frees us to pursue what really matters, which is to seek the LORD will all our hearts." ~ From Run With the Horses by Eugene Peterson.

Next Entry: The Lost Chapters: Review

Hebrews 11:1–40 (Continued)

June 14, 2013

I went back and found the letter I wrote to our lawyer in 2008. Here is a portion of what I wrote:

"At the risk of you thinking we have lost it, we want to share with you how we feel. We truly would not change a thing. We feel so blessed. While this whole process has been painful, it has also filled us with great joy. Our faith in the faithfulness of our God has increased beyond measure. We absolutely believe the lawsuit will never go to trial. We will admit to you that there is no logic behind that statement. It is just an absolute belief. Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." We are certain. Not because of the possibility of mediation or because of the skill you and our team of lawyer's possess, even though we are grateful for all of that. Our faith is in the Lord and His promises. Psalm 112 is a promise we claim. We will wait upon the Lord. We are praying for His guidance. We will wait upon the Lord."

Psalm 112

Praise the Lord!

Happy are those who respect the Lord,

   who want what he commands.

Their descendants will be powerful in the land;

   the children of honest people will be blest.

Their houses will be full of wealth and riches,

   and their goodness will continue forever.

A light shines in the dark for honest people,

   for those who are merciful and kind and good.

It is good to be merciful and generous.

   Those who are fair in their business

will never be defeated.  

   Good people will always be remembered,

They won't be afraid of bad news;

   their hearts are steady because they trust the Lord.

They are confident and will not be afraid;

   they will look down on their enemies.

They give freely to the poor.

   The things they do are right and will continue forever.  

They will be given great honor.

The wicked will see this and become angry;

   they will grind their teeth in anger and then

      disappear.

   The wishes of the wicked will come to nothing.

Beside Psalm 112 in my Bible I have written: April 2008—God's Promise. I wrote the letter to our lawyer (which included Psalm 112) three days after writing "God's Promise" beside Psalm 112. The very next day, Jane spoke her final God-given words to us when she said "Jeremiah 33," a promise of restoration and freedom. Exactly one year later—to the day—God incredibly fulfilled His promise of restoration and protected us from the mouth of the lion. There will come a day when the threat of "the storm" will be over and we will be free once again.

Amazing to look back now and realize the order of events. We believed God's promises FIRST. Then we went way out on a limb and proclaimed those promises to our lawyer. AFTER we believed and took the leap of faith, God sent us His final message through the lips of Jane E. Wolfe. Jeremiah 33—A promise of restoration and freedom. Incredibly, one year to the day later, God fulfilled the first part of His promise. He restored us in an amazing way

We believe. We are sure. We are certain. Our faith is in Him and HIM alone.

*****

Jane has the following written in her KJV:

Faith CREATES afresh today – "Brings into being."
"God was ABLE" – See Matthew 9:28–29
Faith is assurance... evidence of things not seen.
1) he was righteous (Abel)
2) he pleased God (Enoch)  See Jude 14
3) moved with fear (Noah)
4) obeyed and he went (Abraham)
5) she judged him faithful who had promised (Sara)
6) were not afraid (Moses)
7) choose to suffer instead of conform (Moses)
8) had respect for the goal (Moses)
9) out of weakness was made strong, stood strong to the end (heroes of faith)
God has a better plan.


Next Entry: Hebrews 12:1 – 13:25

Hebrews 10:1–39

June 12, 2013

Okay, so yesterday I write about what this lawsuit is all about and how it isn't just about the money but it is also about either forcing our home (and business) away from us or taking our home for themselves. After I finished writing I did what I always do and I read the next chapter. Hebrews 10. And I read verse 34, "...and you even had joy when all that you owned was taken away from you, because you knew you had something better and more lasting." Hmm. "When all you own has been taken from you..."

Well, I have to tell you—that got my attention!!

Is God trying to tell me something? Is this insight into what is to come? Why am I reading this immediately after I write about the purpose behind my sister and brother-in-law filing this lawsuit and what the end result would be if they are successful? For a brief moment "what if" fears set in. But then truth and faith returned.  Praise the Lord!

Some things I KNOW:

• When this all started we opened our hands and surrendered ALL to God and His Will. ALL! Our home, business, lives—everything. A stake was driven in the ground (literally) and it remains there today. Our joy does not come from anything we possess. We could have nothing and still be happy individually and as a couple.
• We specifically sought (and still seek) God's plan for our lives. Was His plan to move us out of our home so we were available to serve Him elsewhere? We have listened carefully. When we went to Honduras we met a couple who gave up everything to go and volunteer at the farm. They talked about how God stirred in their hearts for months, as a couple and individually, and they knew God was calling them to this ministry. We have had no inner stirrings of God calling us to a different life and asking us to leave our home and business to "go." None. In fact, the exact opposite is true. He has given us additional ministries right where we are. He has opened our eyes to those around us. He has given us many confirmations that our ministries are effective and blessed by Him. He has grown and expanded our business. We have not sat on our hands and been idle while we wait for an official outcome to the lawsuit. We have worked hard in our ministries and we continue to work hard to improve our home and business.
• God gave us Jane. Meeting Jane can only be described as a God-ordained appointment. I met Jane on the very day the verbal attacks from my sister and brother-in-law and their plan to implement their hostile take over of our joint project began. During our very first meeting, Jane prayed an incredible prayer of blessing on my life. And then, even though I went to see her every Monday morning, there was nothing—for six months. During that same time period, my husband and I walked and prayed together every day; I went every week to visit Jane even though she was often not aware I was in the room; and my husband and I surrendered ALL. We were reading God's words, we were seeking godly counsel, we were praying, and we continued to live and love. We were open to whatever direction God was leading us. Then just three days after the lawsuit was filed (on my normal Monday morning visit with Jane), God gave us instruction (Praise me first); a promise (I will protect you in court); and an incredible second prayer of blessing on our lives. For ten more precious months, God continued to use Jane to speak words of instruction, encouragement, promise, and blessing to our lives.
• God closed the mouth of the lion and totally protected us exactly one year to the day that Jane spoke and gave us His last words. Jeremiah 33—A promise of release and restoration.
• God is faithful.
• God is just.
• God cannot lie.
• We are safe in His hands.

Those are all things I KNOW! I know... that I know... that I know. We can go to God with a sincere heart and a clear conscience. God is real. He is available to us, and we can draw near to Him. So, Hebrews 10:23 - "Let us hold firmly to the hope that we have confessed, because we can trust God to do what he has promised." That is our life. We have chosen to believe and to follow His leading—no matter what.

But, there is a flip side for those who have known the truth and turned their backs on it. Jesus is no longer their High Priest and there is no longer a sacrifice for their sins. Hebrews 10:27 - "There is nothing but fear in waiting for the judgment and terrible fire that will destroy all those who live against God." What an awful reality! The writer of Hebrews quotes Deuteronomy 32:35 - "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them." and Psalm 135:14 - "The Lord will judge his people." Hebrews 10:31 - "It is  terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Hebrews 10:36–39 - "So do not lose courage... you must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what he has promised. For in a very short time,

"The One who is coming will come and will not be delayed. The person who is right with me will live by trusting in me. But if he turns back in fear, I will not be pleased with him." Habakkuk 2:3–4 

But we are not those who turn back and are lost. We are people who have faith and are saved."

We believe! Just two words, but it says it all.

WE BELIEVE!!

Addendum: 11/30/16 ~ There are times when you read the Bible that something just jumps off the page at you. It happened today as I was reading this chapter. Actually, it happened twice.  

The first phrase is found in Hebrews 10:13 - "But after Christ offered one sacrifice for sins, forever, he sat down at the right side of God. And now Christ waits there for his enemies to be put under his power." I've never thought about it that way before. I obviously knew scripture talks about Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father, but I never thought about Christ sitting there and waiting for His enemies to be put under His power and held accountable for their actions.  

The second thing that stood out to me is found in Hebrews 10:26–31.

"If we decide to go on sinning after we have learned the truth there is no longer any sacrifice for sins. There is nothing but fear in waiting for the judgment and the terrible fire that will destroy all those who live against God. Anyone who refused to obey the law of Moses was found guilty from the proof given by two or three witnesses. He was put to death without mercy. So what do you think should be done to those who do not respect the Son of God, who look at the blood of the agreement that made them holy as no different for others' blood, who insult the Spirit of God's grace? Surely they should have a much worse punishment. We know that God said, "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them." And he also said, "The Lord will judge his people." It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God." (emphasis mine)

Hebrews 10:13 - "And now Christ waits there for his enemies to be put under his power."  

Hebrews 10:31 - "It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Accountability is real. God is a God of amazing love and righteous wrath. We (people) tend to want to make God into someone who is warm and fuzzy and a god who just wants to bless our socks off. We (people) don't want to face the reality of judgment if we decide to insult God's grace by continuing to sin. There IS accountability.

I'd like to grab some people by their collars, shake them, and say—WAKE UP!! Don't you get it?!? God is a God of love and wrath!! Our choices dictate which attribute of God we will receive. A day of accounting WILL come!! Today, before it is too late, stop being stubborn and change your heart and lives. Please!

But yet, I know it is a decision only they/you can make. I cannot make it for them/you or I would. I have made my decision. I choose to believe. I choose to obey. I don't ever want to face the wrath of a righteous God. I want to hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant."

TODAY!! Before it's too late. Please listen! Please accept God's gift of Grace.   


 Next Entry: Hebrews 11:1–40

Titus 1:1 – 2:15

May 29, 2013

God cannot lie!

"God always speaks truth. When he makes a covenant, he keeps it. When he makes a statement, he means it. And when he proclaims the truth we can believe it. What he says is true." ~ From Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado.

God cannot lie. His truth is TRUTH. Titus 1:1-2 - "I was sent to help the faith of God's chosen people and to help them know the truth that shows people how to serve God. That faith and that knowledge come from the hope for life forever, which God promised to us before time began. And God cannot lie."

As believers, His truth should be reflected in our lives. You cannot receive God's grace and remain the same. It changes you. Understanding grace means you can never live your life in the same old way again. Grace is not a license to live however you please. Not only is it not a license, it should not be abused and our lives cannot remain status quo. Instead, understanding grace should lead us on a path towards holiness.

That's why Paul again lists the attributes of an elder. Our Senior Pastor always says that you cannot lead someone where you have never been. So true. An elder (leader) is a manager for God, so his (or her) life should reflect God's. A leader in the church:

• Must not be guilty of doing wrong
• Must not be selfish
• Must not become angry quickly 
• Must not drink too much
• Must not like to start trouble
• Must not try to get rich by cheating others

A leader must be hospitable, love what is good, be wise, live right, be holy, and be self-controlled. They must hold onto truth and help others by using true teaching. Their life example and work points out the truth to those who are against true teaching. But even when you live right and do right, you will still run into people who just refuse to acknowledge and accept truth. Titus 1:11a - "These people must be stopped." It's not just that they are harming themselves so ignore them and let them go. They are harming others and hurting the cause of Christ. These people:

• Hurt and upset entire families by their actions and teachings which they do to get rich by cheating people.
• "They are liars, evil animals, and lazy people who do nothing but eat." (A quote from one of the Cretans prophets in Titus 1:12)

Titus 1:13–16 - "So firmly tell those people they are wrong so they may become strong in the faith... to those who are pure, all things are pure, but to those who are full of sin and do not believe, nothing is pure. Both their minds and their consciences have been ruined. They say they know God, but their actions show they do not accept him. They are hateful people, they refuse to obey, and they are useless for doing anything good." That is why they must be stopped. KJV - "They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him. being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate." NIV - "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."

So, is this why? Is this why "these people must be stopped"? We have said those very words many times. We strongly felt my sister and brother-in-law had to be stopped because of their actions. Their purpose was to "use" and "abuse," and because of that, we felt "these people must be stopped." So, (as our lawyer commented) we put our heads in the mouth of the lion to do it. But now for the first time, I am understanding more of what "these people must be stopped" means. Us knowing "these people must be stopped" involved so much more than putting a stop to their use and abuse of others and situations. So much more.

It is for the reasons listed in Titus 1:10–16 that they must be stopped. It isn't for the purpose of destroying them, it is for the purpose of restoring them," so they can become strong in the faith." Like we have said so many times, my sister and brother-in-law will either be like the Saul of the Old Testament (destroyed) or the Saul of the New Testament (restored). Once you have known Truth there is no middle ground. You either accept Truth and follow His ways, or you reject Truth (Him) and follow your own destructive, evil ways which will ultimately lead to judgment by the one true and holy Judge.

My sister and brother-in-law's actions did not begin or end with us. It has been a lifetime of choices. I don't know why God chose us to stand up against the lies, but He did, and we will. "These people must be stopped." Not just for the harm they have inflicted on others, but "so they may become strong in the faith." I pray my sister and brother-in-law will choose to surrender, change their hearts and minds, and follow the Truth. Everything we have went through has been worth it because of all we have learned and been taught. How awesome it would be if they would understand this waiting period was their day of Grace, and they would stop and change their ways.

That is our desire and prayer. However this ends, we are grateful for all God has done in our lives, and we are also grateful for the days of grace He has extended to my sister and brother-in-law. Titus 2:8 - "Speak the truth so that you cannot be criticized. Then those who are against you will be ashamed because there is nothing bad to say about us." So live by following the true teaching. Be self-controlled, serious, wise, strong in faith, strong in love and in patience, be holy, be wise and pure, be kind, work hard, submit to authority, encourage others, do good deeds, be honest. In other words: let your walk match your talk.

Titus 2:11–14 - "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to  say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

Titus 2:15 - "These, then are the things you should teach.  Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you."

TEACH!


Next Entry: Titus 3:1–15

Romans 11:1–36

February 18, 2013

A friend of ours had brain surgery yesterday—nine hours. The tumor is most likely cancerous. A very favorite cousin's viewing is tonight and tomorrow. Life is so fragile. My husband and I were talking the other night about how many friends and acquaintances have died since the lawsuit began. The number is staggering to me.

Jane E. Wolfe
My Dad
Our daughter-in-law's mom
My husband's brother
Two of my husband's uncles
Three of my husband's first cousins
Four of our friends from church
Three business associates
Two of our friends from school
Our lawyer's parents
My Dad's cousin (who stayed at our home and gave me information about our shared ancestry).

20+ names—and the list goes on. How can it be? How can it be that anyone could waste even one second of precious time—let alone six years—on seeking revenge or ill-gotten gain? How can it be?

"So you see that God is kind and also very strict. He punishes those who stop following him. But God is kind to you, if you continue following in his kindness. If you do not, you will be cut off from the tree." Romans 11:22

God chose the Jews to be His people. Some believed (and are part of the tree) and some did not believe (and are cut off from the tree). Because some did not believe, salvation was opened up for the Gentiles (you and me) and we are grafted into the tree. The strength and life does not come from the branch, it comes from the root of the tree. 

If God's chosen people (Jews) who did not believe were cut off, then it goes to reason that the same thing can happen to those who have been grafted on should they decide to turn their backs on God's ways. The opposite is true as well. Repent of your ways, acknowledge Jesus as Lord, surrender yourself to His will, and you (like the Jews) are grafted back on. But be careful! When you deliberately turn your back on God and reject his ways, you are not in control of whether you remain on or whether you will be grafted back on. Besides the danger of being cut off, you are also in danger of no longer having the Holy Spirit pull you towards repentance.

"God gave the people a dull mind so they could not understand. He closed their eyes so they could not see and their ears so they could not hear.... Let their own feasts trap them and cause them ruin; let their feasts cause them to stumble and be paid back. Let their eyes be closed so they cannot see and their back be forever weak from troubles." (Romans 11:8–10) Paul was quoting Isaiah 29:10; Deuteronomy 29:4; and Psalm 69:22–23.

Because of their refusal to listen and surrender, they were made stubborn and refused to listen.

Addendum: 3/26/2019 ~ Six more years have passed since I first wrote the list of  people who have died during the time of the lawsuit. "The storm" continues... and so many more names can now be added to that list.

Mom
Cousins
Friends
Acquaintances
Business associates

Today we are going to the viewing for a very special friend who passed away from cancer after battling it for three years. She was only 60 years old. She was such a special person and she will be sorely missed by all who knew her. Her beautiful voice is now singing with the angels and worshiping Jesus with songs of Praise.

The older I get the more I realize that life on this earth is so short! Eternity awaits! If you don't already know Jesus as your personal Savior please consider accepting his free gift of salvation today. The Path to Salvation will show you the way. 

Addendum: 12/17/19 ~ The average life expectancy in the United States is 78.7 years. My sister turns 70 in just a few months. I'm 65. I still don't understand how anyone could waste even one second of precious time—let alone twelve years—on seeking revenge or ill-gotten gain. How can it be? Especially when all they are seeking to obtain is temporal!! Even if they are successful in seeking our ruin and acquire what God has given us through their malicious plans, what has it truly gained them in the light of eternity? Is accomplishing revenge really worth wasting twelve years of your life when time is fleeting? Ill-gotten gains—for what?? To spend on temporary earthly desires or hoard away when in just a few years (at best) it won't even matter what you acquired on this earth? Why? How can anything temporal be worth risking where you spend eternity? I just don't get it. It doesn't make sense. No part of my thought processes can understand it.


Next Entry: Romans 11:1–36 (Continued)    

Romans 1:1–32

January 14, 2013

A whole week has passed and I haven't written a single thing. What a week! Our time has been consumed helping my husband's brother. The number of his days is coming to a close. We take comfort in knowing he is ready, and in also knowing we have done everything we could to help him. Thank-you again Father for allowing us this opportunity.

Acts 1:5 - "I do this work for him..."
Acts 1:12 - "Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you..."
Acts 1:17 - "It begins and ends with faith..."
Acts 1:17 - "Those who are right with God will live by trusting in him." (Quotation from Habakkuk 2:4)

Those verses sum up this past week. We are utterly exhausted, but everything we have done is work we have done for Him. It has been good to be able to help and encourage my husband's brother, and it has been good for my husband to hear the words, "I'm sorry" from his brother. Surrendering to God the number of your days is FAITH, it is not giving up. And when you are surrendered to God you can live by trusting Him, even under the shadow of death.

What Grace. What Love.

But oh, what anger—the wrath of God—when you refuse to surrender to Him.


Next Entry: Romans 1:1–32 (Continued)

Acts 16:1–40 (Continued)

December 12, 2012

The last time Paul was in prison the angel led him out through the closed doors. This time the doors were wide open and they could have walked out completely in their own power and without any assistance. But that wasn't God's plan. So, they stayed put right where they were—in prison. They didn't run and they didn't hide.

The jailer awakes and assumes the prisoners have all left. He was ready to kill himself when Paul shouted, "Don't hurt yourself! We are all here." The jailer was astounded. He knew the story. He knew that Paul "escaped" last time through closed gates. That is why he put Paul in a center room and pinned his feet down in stockades. And now the doors were wide open and the prisoners were still there?!? You see, God doesn't want us doing things in our own power or we would be the ones getting the honor and glory. NO! He will share HIS glory with no one! The jailer recognized the absolute miracle that all were still there. He knew it could only be because of divine action. The jailer ran inside shaking with fear and fell down before Paul and Silas asking, "What must I do be saved?" They said to him, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved." (Acts 16:31) The jailer did and he and his family were saved.

Before he and his family were baptized, the jailer knew there was something he needed to do. There was a wrong he needed to make right. He knew there were amends he needed to make. So, he cleaned the wounds of Paul and Silas that were wrongly inflicted upon them. Then he and his family were baptized. His actions weren't what saved him. Only God's grace can do that. But once he was saved, he knew there was something he needed to make amends for before he could grow in his new found faith. That's the way it works. When we receive God's grace, we want to make amends. 

Paul and Silas were in jail, but they were exactly where God wanted them. His word went out and people were saved. How cool that God wanted to make a difference in the jailers life and he took extreme measures to make it happen. We believe with all our hearts that we have been put into our lawyer's life for this very purpose. Oh LORD, may it be so. May our lives bring honor and glory to you.

The next morning the Roman officers sent the police to tell the jailer, "Let these men go free." The jailer told them to go in peace because they were now free. Kind of funny. God had freed them already, it wasn't man who set them free. We are still bound by this lawsuit legally, but we are already free! Praise the Lord!!! Paul and Silas were given permission to walk away from their physical jail but they said no. Acts 16:37 - "They beat us in public without a trial, even though we are Roman citizens. And they threw us in jail. Now they want to make us go away quietly. No! Let them come themselves and bring us out." When the Roman officers heard what they said they were afraid. They went and told Paul and Silas they were sorry and took them out of the jail and asked them to leave the city. Paul and Silas left the jail; went to Lydia's house; encouraged the other believers; and then left. Accountability happens. They were publicly accused and they were publicly released and cleared of any wrong doing.

We have been falsely accused publicly. We want to be declared innocent publicly as well. May it be so, LORD.

Addendum: 3/10/16 ~  Being declared innocent publicly used to be important to me. It really isn't important to me any longer. Yes, it would be nice, but it is not important. Our lives bear witness to the truth—and that is enough.  


Next Entry: An Opportunity To Serve

John 4:1–54

October 18, 2012

Water—a necessity for human life. Living water—a necessity for eternal life. What amazing love that we are each given the free gift of Living Water to accept and have. As I was lying in bed this morning I was thinking about that gift. God provided the final sacrifice and Jesus was willing to be the Lamb. John 4:23 - "The Father too is actively seeking people to worship him." Not only is His gift of love easily available, but He actively seeks us. He wants us to know and worship Him. John 4:23–24 - "God the Father is spirit and truth... God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." You cannot live a lie and worship God in truth. Cannot. It's why God says over and over in His Word—"Change your hearts and lives... get a new way of thinking."  

We are asked to believe. There is no substitute. We must believe—and if we believe—we will obey. If we do not obey we do not believe, we are not worshiping in spirit and truth and "God's anger stays on them." (John 3:36)

An officer came to Jesus. His son was almost dead. He begged Jesus to heal him. "Sir, come before my child dies." And Jesus answered, "Go. Your son will live." The officer's response is important. "The man believed... and went home" (NCV); "The man took Jesus at his word and departed." (NIV) Part way home he meets one of his servants who was coming to tell him his son was healed. The officer asked, "What time did my son begin to get well?"The servant responded, "Yesterday at one o'clock the fever left him." The father knew it "was the exact time Jesus had said, 'your son will live'. So the man and all the people who lived in his house believed in Jesus."

In April of 2008, Jane (Her Name Was Jane) spoke her last "words" to us. She was in the reclining wheelchair in the hallway, just outside her door. She had not spoken in months. It was obvious her time left on earth was short. I had been reading to her for at least an half hour. Because I recognized her time on earth was short, I read to her Jeremiah 29:11–13. After I finished the verse she said in a clear firm voice. "Jeremiah 33." I turned to the page in the Bible and began to read it to her. Jeremiah 33 is a Promise of Restoration. "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33 is an amazing chapter of God's promise of restoration while Jeremiah was still captive. A promise that cannot be broken.

Exactly one year to the day from when Jane spoke her last "words," God did exactly as He had promised—we were restored from a large financial obligation in an amazing way.

We believe!
July '07—God promised to protect us. (Psalm 140)
September '07—God promised to help us. (Isaiah 30)
April '08—God promised to restore us. (Jeremiah 33)

We believe! We have taken God at His word. He is Spirit and Truth, and we praise HIS NAME. (Psalm 150) Blessed be the Name of the LORD. No human words will ever be enough to adequately praise HIS Name. Thank you Father for giving us this Blessed Event. We will not squander it. We will tell of your greatness. We will give you ALL the honor, glory, and praise. Our faith and trust is in you alone.

We believe!


Next Entry: John 5:1–47

A Mother's Love

September 25, 2012

Yesterday I spent some time looking up a list of verses Mom gave me shortly after the lawsuit began. It is obviously very upsetting for a Mother to have one daughter seeking to harm another daughter.

Mom looked up the cross-reference verses for Psalm 140 (God's promise to us through Jane) and hand wrote them on a small plain card and gave them to me. They were an encouragement to her and she wanted to encourage us. I just ran across it a few days ago while going through a file downstairs. I don't want to lose them so I'm going to record them here. Mom's card is in the front folder of this journal (Journal #10). Psalm 140 is the chapter Jane (Her Name Was Jane) told me to read just three days after my sister and brother-in-law filed the lawsuit against us.   

Psalm 140

Verse 1: Psalm 18:48 - "He saves me from my enemies. You set me over those who hate me. You saved me from cruel men."

Verse 2: Psalm 56:6 - "They wait.  They hide.  They watch my steps, hoping to kill me."

Verse 3: Psalm 57:4; Psalm 64:3 - "Enemies, like lions, are all around me; I must lie down among them. Their teeth are like spears and arrows, their tongues as sharp as swords."; "They sharpen their tongues like swords and shoot bitter words like arrows."

Verse 4: Psalm 71:4; Psalm 36:11 - "My God, save me from the power of the wicked and from the hold of evil and cruel people."; "Don't let proud people attack me and the wicked force me away."

Verse 5: Job 18:9; Psalm 35:7; Psalm 141:9; Psalm 142:3 - " A trap will catch them by the heel and hold them tight."; "For no reason they spread out their net to trap me; for no reason they dug a pit for me."; "Protect me from the traps they set for me and from the net that evil people have spread."; "When I am afraid, you, LORD, know the way out. In the path where I walk, a trap is hidden for me."

Verse 6: Psalm 143:1; Psalm 116:1 - "LORD, hear my prayer; listen to my cry for mercy. Answer me because you are loyal and good."; "I love the LORD, because he listens to my prayers for help."

Verse 7: Psalm 28:8; Psalm 118:14; Psalm 144:10 - "The LORD is powerful; he gives victory to his chosen one."; "The LORD gives me strength and a song. He has saved me."; "You give victory to kings. You save your servant David from cruel swords."
Verse 8: Psalm 112:10 - "The wicked will see this and become angry; they will grind their teeth in anger and then disappear.  The wishes of the wicked will come to nothing."
Verse 9: Psalm 7:16; Proverbs 18:7 - "They will get themselves into trouble; the violence they cause will hurt only themselves."; "The words of fools will ruin them; their own words will trap them."
Verse 10: Psalm 36:12; Psalm 21:9 - "Those who do evil have been defeated. They are overwhelmed; they cannot do evil any longer."; "When you appear, you will burn them as in a furnace. In your anger you will swallow them up, and fire will burn them up."
Verse 11: Psalm 34:21 - "Evil will kill the wicked; those who hate good people will be judged guilty."
Verse 12: I Kings 8:45, 49; Psalm 12:5; Psalm 35:10 - "Then hear in heaven their prayers, and do what is right."; "Then hear their prayers from your home in heaven, and do what is right."; "But the LORD says, "I will now rise up, because the poor are being hurt. Because the moans of the helpless, I will give them the help they want.' "; "Even my bones will say, 'LORD, who is like you? You save the weak from the strong, the weak and poor from robbers.' "
Verse 13: Psalm 97:12 - "Rejoice in the LORD, you who do right.  Praise his holy name."

Mom also gave me Isaiah 43:1–3 to read. She called me on 3/31/08 and told me she had read those verses in her devotions that morning and she felt it was God's promise to her for us. What joy it has been to enjoy such a close relationship with Mom and Dad. Isaiah 43:1–3 says, "Now this is what the LORD says. He created you, people of Jacob; he formed you, people of Israel. He says, "Don't be afraid, because I have saved you. I have called you by name, and you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you cross rivers, you will not drown. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned, nor will the flames hurt you. This is because I, the LORD am your God."

Addendum: 2/12/16 ~  It has been extremely hard for my Mom (and for my Dad when he was alive) to know that one daughter is actively seeking to harm another daughter by filing a lawsuit against her. Mom has asked many times, "What did we do wrong"? And each time I reassure her that they did nothing wrong. Everyone has a free will and free choice on how they are going to live their lives. We were all raised in the same home. My sister's choices were (and are) just that—her choices. While it has been difficult for Mom, she also has great confidence that my husband and I are going to be just fine. Mom hates the process, but she does not fear the result.

It is strange, but I do not miss the relationship I had with my sister at all. IF there is ever any sort of reconciliation, it (our relationship) can never ever go back to what it was. NEVER. The ending of our relationship was one of the good things that came from this lawsuit. It was not a healthy relationship and I am grateful to be free from it.

Sometimes you have to be free of something before you can clearly see how manipulative and destructive it was. We used to joke that the "hurricane" from the west was coming whenever my sister came to visit. Turns out the joke was actually the truth. My sister used to joke that she was the "queen" and I was the "servant." Turns out that wasn't just a joke either. That is truly how my sister viewed our relationship. Turmoil just seems to follow some people around. My sister is one of those people. There appears to be no peace in her or surrounding her, and it affects everyone she comes into contact with. My relationship with my Mom could have never have been restored without me first becoming free from my sisters influences. I am so grateful that Mom and I can share a close relationship once again. I am grateful that I have been able to help her and comfort her during the last years of her life. It has been a true blessing and I will treasure this time and the memories it has given me forever.  

Addendum: 3/27/19 ~ Mom passed away on 8/31/2018. Mom had a medical event (the doctor thinks it was a stroke) which left her completely confused and unable to eat. After several days of total confusion (not knowing who we were or where she was) and several days of complete incontinence, Mom's mind amazingly cleared back up. Mom still couldn't swallow any solids and couldn't even swallow any liquids without choking, but she was alert, responsive, and content. Mom lived for seventeen days without food and only a sip or two of water—and then she passed on to her eternal reward.

My brother and I took shifts in caring for our Mother. He took care of Mom during the day and I took care of her during the late afternoons, evenings, and into the morning. While the seventeen days were long and hard, it was also the most beautiful time—a time I will forever cherish. Mom had no fear whatsoever of the dying process. None. Mom only felt God was "dawdling" and not coming to take her home soon enough.🙂

Mom told stories I'd never heard before. She was downright funny. One time my brother was telling her she was being awful "bossy" and she replied, "I have to be... I don't have much time left to do it." You would have thought Mom and I were having all-night girl slumber parties. I slept (well that isn't quite true. I got only a few hours of sleep total in over a week's time) on cushions on her bedroom floor so I could protect her from falling if she tried to get up during the night. We often talked and laughed all night. The stories I heard and the time spent together—priceless! One night, after Mom was quiet and reflective for a while she said, "You would think He (meaning God) would take into consideration that I haven't eaten for thirteen days" once again referring to the fact that she felt God was "dawdling" in taking her home. She would feel her now very thin arms and say she wished she would have been this thin earlier in her life. She said, "Who knew that all it would take is not eating." We laughed, we cried, we prayed, we talked, we listened to Bill Gaither songs about "Going Home," and we cherished our last moments together. 

Hospice was called in. My brother and I wanted to make sure Mom was comfortable if any pain developed during the dying process. Thankfully, Mom experienced no pain. In the last 24 hours or so of Mom's long final journey, Mom developed what Hospice called "terminal restlessness" where her body was so revved up that you would have thought she drank ten double espresso Starbucks Grande coffees. Hospice started some medication to relax her body. My brother and I were so thankful for the team of Hospice nurses and their help in making sure Mom was comfortable. 

We (my brother, myself, and Hospice) individually and together all talked with Mom about the elephant in the room:

Mom, do you want us to contact ______ (our sister) to let her know what is happening? 

Mom's answer was the same every time we (or Hospice) approached the subject—No. My brother accepted Mom's answer easily, but for me it was gut-wrenching and very difficult. How do you come to terms with knowing you have a sibling who isn't even aware that your/her mother is ill and in the process of dying? It was absolutely heartbreaking, yet at the same time I understood Mom's answer and we all agreed to honor Mom's wishes. My sister had long ago broken ties with Mom and the rest of our family, but that didn't make it any less painful. I had to remind myself that I was looking through the lenses of my eyes as someone who cares deeply. My sister doesn't view things the way I view them.

For many years, my sister lived under the delusion that Mom and Dad didn't know anything about the lawsuit. Mom and Dad knew everything from the beginning and wanted to confront her many different times, but with some people you can't win, lose, or draw. Any type of confrontation would just open up a firestorm that would never end. So, we all encouraged them to just keep quiet about what all they knew. Dad, bless his heart, shocked us all and somehow managed to hold his tongue. Mom kept quiet for years, but then without letting my brother or myself know, several years ago she decided she could keep quiet no longer. Mom called my sister and called her out on her actions. Needless to say, it did not go well. After my Mom confronted my sister, my sister stopped all personal contact. There was a occasional Christmas chain type letter, but there were no phone calls whatsoever for years.

While my sister had essentially totally abandoned our Mother in her later years (and while Mom made the decision to spend her last earthly days in peace and without unsettling drama), Mom never once abandoned her love for my sister. A mother's love and concern for a wayward child never ends. Mom faithfully prayed for my sister until the day she died. Mom knew that as much as it depended upon her she had done all she could do; a person has to be willing to change, and accept God's plan for a changed heart and life. God graciously balanced Mom's heavy heart with a "peace that passeth all understanding."

Mom wanted to be able to die in peace surrounded by the people who loved her and cared about her, and we honored Mom's request for peace in her final days. Mom passed away with the comfort of knowing she was deeply loved by all those surrounding her.

Mom wanted no public viewing; she only wanted a simple graveside service with my brother's family and my family. So, we honored her wishes and that is what we did. The funeral home allowed me to have a private viewing of my mother. This may sound strange, but I needed to see Mom safely lying in the casket in the blue nightgown she wanted to be buried in and the matching blanket I had just bought her. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. I held her hand and promised her that while she could no longer be praying for my sister, I would carry her heart's desire forward and I would take her place and continue to pray for changed hearts and lives..

The family met at the grave site and my brother poignantly spoke. When he finished, I spoke. I shared that even though all of us were very aware that a member of the family was missing, it did not mean that the "family" was broken because those of us who were gathered together to celebrate Mom's life were united as one. I shared how I stood by Mom's casket earlier that day and promised Mom I would carry forward her prayers, and I asked them all to join me in doing the same.

I shared special memories of Mom and then I presented each member of the family an Old World Christmas ornament/memento which I had prearranged for the florist to include in the beautiful woodsy floral casket arrangement which included a variety of Hosta leaves from Mom's garden. A frog ornament for Mom's youngest great-grandson to represent the ornamental frog he loved in Mom's living room which "croaked" every time he walked by; large-mouth Bass fish ornaments for the two older great-grandsons to represent their love for fishing in Great Grandma's farm pond; Monarch butterfly ornaments for the great-granddaughters to represent the Monarch chrysalises Mom would often hatch in her living room; deer ornaments for Mom's grandsons and my brother to represent the many deer which freely roam on Mom and Dad's farm; and bird ornaments for the granddaughters, my brother's wife and myself to represent Mom's enjoyment and love for feeding birds. My bird was a Cardinal because of its special meaning to me. Almost every day, as I drove over to Mom's place to take my shift in caring for her, a brilliant red Cardinal would meet me towards the top of their long lane and hop from tree to tree leading the way as I drove my car towards their house. Each Christmas, as each of us put our memento ornaments on our trees, we will recount our special memories of our Mom, Grandma, and Great Grandma.

After the graveside service we all went back to Mom and Dad's farm and enjoyed a picnic. As part of our picnic I made Mom's "famous" dishes that everyone loved. I used her recipes and served her well-loved and remembered dishes in the bowls and pans she always used. Mom's Mac 'n Cheese, her freezer coleslaw, her deep dish apple pie, and her famous (and everyone's favorite) Garden Huckleberry Cheesecake. Our grandchildren fished in the pond and played in the creek. We all took a walk up to the woods and marveled at all the piles of branches Mom had picked up and neatly stacked over the years. We walked to the far end of the woods and once again marveled at the huge pile of stones Mom had gathered and piled from the front field. Mom was fiercely independent and a hard worker. She hated winter, and each year couldn't wait until Spring came so she could go outside and get rid of weeds, gather stones from the fields, or clean the woods. My brother always joked that she kept the woods so clean that the deer were going to have to wipe their feet before they went in. It was a beautiful and peaceful time celebrating Mom's life. We then went into Mom's house and Mom's grandchildren and great grandchildren choose more mementos to remember Grandma by. Can you guess who took home the "croaking" frog?

Mom not only taught me how to live, she modeled how to die. I am so grateful for my Mother's love. I miss her terribly, but I know where she is and some day I will join her and Dad and the angels in heaven as we sing praises to the King of kings and Lord of lords. Until that day I will continue to live my life in a way that honors the legacy she and my Dad passed down, and I will continue to pray for my sister.

This picture clearly shows the peace and contentment Mom felt even though she was already almost a week into her final earthly journey when this picture was taken. You're home, Mom. You lived well, you loved well, and you modeled how to die well. You were very, very loved and will be sorely missed by many. I am so grateful that God allowed me to be with you as you left this earth to begin your new life in heaven. Thank you, LORD. You are loved, Mom.

I Can Only Imagine. 

Next Entry: Luke 20:1–47

Mark 5:1–43 (Continued)

July 25, 2012

Faith.

"You are made well because you believed." (Mark 5:34)  
"Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36)

Jesus healed the woman with the blood disease and raised the young girl who had died.

Faith is tricky. There is a difference between having faith and the refusal to accept truth. Can God do ALL things? Absolutely. Will God always heal someone who is sick and dying? No. Death is a reality of life and there is no getting around it. We will ALL someday die unless we are alive at His second coming. No one lives forever. Psalm 139:16 says - "All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old."

Is it wrong to pray, have faith, and seek healing? Absolutely not. Is it misguided to feel as if God has let us down, or we didn't have enough faith if a prayer for a loved one was not answered the way we wanted? Yes. The key word is "we." What "we" should want is God's will and not our own. The prayers we are praying in faith should always be to seek HIS will. As Christians, if we truly believe there is a heaven and that is our destination, then how can we fear death and why do some people refuse to accept the reality of it? When it is our time to die it should not be feared, it should be embraced. Do we want to leave our loved ones? Of course not. Do we want to enjoy our families and this earth as long as we can? Of course. But the bottom line is: This earth is not our home!! We are only passing through. Don't delay. Don't put it off. DO TODAY what you need to do to receive God's free gift of Salvation.

My brother-in-law's (my husband's brother) CML is progressing rapidly. He is out of options. Except for a miracle from God, there is little to no hope and there hasn't been for a very long time. Everything we have done is to give him as much quality time as possible. I am very grateful for the ten months we've been able to help give him. Unfortunately, that time is probably soon coming to an end.

The kindest and best thing we can do for my husband's brother is to pray for a fast and peaceful passing. We need to be making some decisions. When do we tell my husband's Mom and Dad?  How much do we tell them?  When do we broach the subject of Hospice?  He is starting to use quite a bit of morphine. His legs especially are causing him a lot of discomfort. We are soon going to have to make decisions about his driving. We've already begun to talk to him about it. There is just so much he doesn't understand.

Oh LORD, please help him. LORD, I pray that his passing from this earth to your arms will be as peaceful and painless as possible. Guard his heart and mind. Protect his emotions. Give him the strength he needs to make it through these days, weeks, or months ahead. Give us wisdom on how to do what is best for him and his wife, and for my husband's Mom and Dad. May he feel your loving arms awaiting him. LORD, may my mother-in-law—for the very first time—release her fear of death, and LORD, may my father-in-law release his need for being in control. May they both surrender their son to you. LORD, may my sister-in-law trust you for her strength. Thank you, Father for giving us this time to serve my husband's brother to the best of our abilities. May you receive the Honor, the Glory, the Power, and the Praise forever. Amen.

And to think—we are thanking Jesus for the opportunity to serve when we (my husband and I) always swore we would NOT be left to pick up the pieces from what his parents created when they buried their heads in the sand and never got their younger son the help he needed.

Wow! What a change—in US!

Addendum:  1/10/16 ~ I am so glad I started keeping a journal. This entry brought everything flooding back. My husband's brother passed away less than six months after this journal entry. My heart is praising God today, for He absolutely answered our prayers. My husband's brother passed very peacefully and quickly. There was no pain or discomfort.  There was no anxiety.

Thank you, LORD. As I read this entry, I realized how completely you heard and answered our prayers.  We are so grateful Lord, we are so grateful. 

My husband and I poured our hearts and souls into taking care of his brother and trying to do the best for him. There was SO much water under the bridge. He had caused my husband SO many problems during his life. My husband's brother was a product of his parents refusal to accept that he was "different" and trying to push everything under the rug. He paid for it—and my husband paid for it.

And we, who always swore we would NOT be trying to pick up his parents pieces for the rest of our lives, jumped in with both feet and did all we could to help him. What a change—in us.  We are so grateful that we could serve him and help him through the last years of his life.

Thank you, LORD, for changing US. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to serve HIM, and YOU.


Next Entry: Mark 6:1 – 7:23

Matthew 13:1–58

May 03, 2012

Jesus sat in a boat while teaching. He taught by telling stories and His followers came to Him and asked Him why He did that.

I've been thinking about His answer since yesterday. He said, "You have been chosen to know the secrets about the kingdom of heaven, but others cannot know these secrets." (Matthew 13:11) How does someone get chosen? By believing, surrendering and obeying. Jesus goes on, "Those who have understanding (those who "get-it", who get the God/man relationship) will be given more, and they will have all they need. But those who do not have understanding, even what they have will be taken away from them. This is why I use stories to teach the people: They see, but they don't really see. They hear, but they don't really hear or understand." (Matthew 13:12–13)

Then Jesus quotes Isaiah 6:9–10*

"You will listen and listen, but you will not understand. You will look and look, but you will not learn. For the minds of these people have become stubborn. They do not hear with their ears and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might really understand what they see with their eyes and hear with their ears. They might really understand in their minds and come back to me and be healed."

*See my writings for Isaiah 6 on July 20, 2011. The Spirit of confusion and delusion. They have no idea they are disillusioned. None. They think they see—but they are blinded. They think they hear—but they are deaf. They think they have understanding—but they don't. This doesn't "accidentally" or "innocently" happen to someone. They aren't "victims" of an angry God. They are reaping the consequences of their choices. But oh, what a horrific thing to watch happen. It isn't something you would wish on your worst enemy.

Jesus continues, "But you are blessed, because you see with your eyes and hear with your ears." (Matthew 13:16) It all goes back to the excerpt from Simple Faith by Chuck Swindoll in the Life Lesson for Proverbs 2. I just find it very disturbing to understand that some people truly cannot see, and truly cannot hear. We have asked the question—Why don't they "get-it"? Matthew 13; Isaiah 6; and Proverbs 2 explains the reasons why. 

I want to stay on the narrow road, and I want to stay in the center of that road. I don't ever want to make the choices that would eventually lead me down the path where I would no longer have understanding and lose the ability to see and hear.

Jesus then tells the story about planting seed. Some of the seed:

1. Fell by the road, and the birds came and ate is all up;
2. Some fell on rocky ground where there wasn't much dirt. It grew fast but the roots didn't go deep and when the sun came out the plant dried up;
3. Some fell among thorny weeds which grew and choked out the good plants;
4. Some fell on good ground where it grew and produced a crop. Some made 100 times more, some 60 times more, and some 30 times more.

"You people who can hear me, listen." (Matthew 13:9)

Addendum:  12/7/15 ~ This morning as I was entering into Blogger what I wrote for Matthew 13:1–58 my entry said: "*See my writings for _____". I had written that so I would remember to go back through my journals and look up the dates for my Isaiah 6 entry. (It so much easier to do now that I have my entries transcribed into Blogger!) I looked up Isaiah 6 to add the link to this entry and I am shocked—again.

We are in the thick of the battle right now. A Settlement Conference is scheduled.  Our lawyer asked to me to go through our files and find some information for him. He has all of it in the twenty some boxes he has, but in order to save us expenses he will often let me do the tedious work. So... if you could only see our living room right now!! I am buried under a mountain of paperwork. All those boxes we had stored away are back inside and I am going through everything! I'm putting my eyes and hands on it all so we can both be assured that we haven't missed anything.

I'm in the mire of the lawsuit, I'm recording my writings for Matthew 13, and I'm sent to Isaiah 6 (which was entered into Blogger on the 7th anniversary of God's promise of restoration given to us through Jane's lips) just as we are preparing for the Settlement Conference. God's faithfulness is beyond measure. Thank you, Jesus. 


Next Entry: Grateful!

Matthew 9:1–38 (Continued)

April 20, 2012

FAITH—What a way to start a new journal! (This is journal #9)

"I know there used to be a stone in front of a tomb. And I do know it was moved. And I also know that there are stones in your path. Stones that trip you and stones that trap. Stones too big for you. 

Please remember, the goal of these stories is not to help us look back with amazement, but forward with faith. The God who spoke still speaks. The God who forgave still forgives. The God who came still comes. He comes into our world. He comes into your world. He comes to do what you can't. He comes to move the stones you can't budge. Stones are no match for God. Not then and not now. He still moves stones." ~ From He Still Moves Stones by Max Lucado.

There were plenty of stones facing the people in Matthew 9. A leader of the synagogues daughter had just died. A woman was afflicted with a bleeding disease for twelve years. Two men were blind. Another man couldn't speak because of demons. They (and others) came to Jesus—and Jesus healed them. They all sought Him. They all believed. They all were healed. The woman who was bleeding just wanted to be able to touch His clothes. She didn't feel worthy to be able to speak to Jesus but she understood His power. Jesus said to her, "Be encouraged, dear woman. You are made well because you believed." (Matthew 9:22) And the woman was healed from that moment on.

Then there was the leader of the synagogue. His daughter died. He sought out Jesus to come touch her. Jesus goes. He tells the crowd gathered there to go away because the girl was not dead, she was only sleeping. The crowd laughed at Him. They did not believe Jesus could heal her. The interesting thing is, they did not get to stay and watch or participate in her healing. "After the crowd had been thrown out of the house," (THEN) Jesus went into the room, took her hand, and she was healed.

When Jesus left there two blind men began to follow (pursue) Him. They cried out, "Have mercy on us, Son of David." Calling him Son of David shows they knew who He was. Jesus asked them, "Do you believe that I can make you see again?" (Matthew 9:28) They answered "Yes, Lord" and they were healed because they believed. When the two men were leaving, some people brought (again pursued) to Jesus a man who could not speak because of demons. Jesus forced the demon out and the man could speak again. The crowd was amazed and said, "We have never seen anything like this in Israel." The Pharisees just refused to acknowledge Him as the Messiah, instead accusing Him of getting his power from the prince of demons instead of Father God.

Crowds followed Jesus and He healed many. Looking out over the crowds, Jesus felt sorry for them. He compared them to sheep without a shepherd. Then Jesus gave His great commission in Matthew 9:37–38. "There are many people to harvest but only a few workers to help harvest them. Pray to the Lord, who owns the harvest, that he will send more workers to gather his harvest."

Addendum:  12/3/15 ~ We received the Settlement demand letter from my sister and brother-in-law yesterday. It came after the deadline set by the judge. Both parties were to be trying to negotiate a settlement for the last three months. We sent them three separate letters requesting a response to our settlement offer—nothing. Literally nothing. Then after the judge's deadline, they sent a demand letter of what they would be willing to settle for. The amount (including what is remaining in escrow) was approximately three quarters of a million dollars. If we don't give them that amount then the letter included all sorts of threats and demands on what they will do. (The three quarters of a million dollars is in addition to the $250k they already took from the project funds and never returned.)

The amount they are demanding doesn't matter. It might as well have been three million. We don't have it, and they know it. What we did have has either been spent or mortgaged to defend ourselves against them. Even if we did have the ability to pay their demands we would not do it. We are innocent of ALL their charges. Period. The irony is this: What they are willing to settle for is less than what they would have received if they would have accepted the offer we had for the sale of the project back in 2007. But that would have been recouping their investment from someone else paying them the money. That was not good enough. The intent all along has been to (at the very least) monetarily destroy me. The amount of money they are asking for would accomplish that. Nothing less than my destruction appears to be acceptable.

Our lawyer made a comment yesterday that in just ten words summed up the situation. He said, "____ (my sister) is not always right, but she is NEVER wrong." That is it in a nutshell. Say that quote to ANYONE who has ever crossed paths with her and they would all nod their head in agreement. He also made another comment that was absolutely spot on. Just six words that perfectly captures why it has been impossible to deal in any reasonable way with my sister and brother-in-law these last eight years. Here is crux of the matter and why nothing has worked. Their attitude is: "We win, you lose, you choose." They leave NO room for any other alternative. That's it. "We win, you lose, you choose."

Addendum #2: 4/24/17 ~ There was another part of their settlement letter that I don't think I've mentioned before. I found it highly offensive. In the letter they offered to keep any payments we made to them confidential so "no one would ever need to know" we paid them to settle their claims against us. The implication was this: they were willing to allow us to atone for our (so-called) sins privately by allowing us to pay them what amounts to hush money. This would allow us to keep our leadership positions in the church and allow us to keep our reputation within our business and local communities without anyone ever needing to know what we had (supposedly) done. A cover-up. All very private. All very hush-hush.

What?!? A cover-up? Their accusations against us are not true. But even if they were, do they truly believe it would be appropriate to help someone cover up their "sin"? Where is that scriptural? Can't the Maker of eyes see and the Maker of ears hear? How does that fit with them telling our Pastors they were trying to follow Matthew 18? How does that bring a wandering believer back into fellowship with God? How does that restore a broken relationship?

To insinuate we would even consider such an action is offensive to me. It goes against everything we stand for and who we are. But it doesn't matter what is offensive to me. What matters is the why behind their actions. It is morally offensive and reprehensible. It is yet another example of them attempting to project their own behavior onto us. Just because they appear to be willing to do whatever they think is necessary to cover up their own actions, they assumed they could tempt us into doing the same. To say they were wanting to help us was just a smoke screen, another one of their own cover-up schemes. They were hoping to get us to cave to the fear of losing the lawsuit and possibly losing our ministries and reputation as Christ followers. They were hoping to entice us to take the issue of saving ourselves into our own hands. So, they offered to help us keep what is important to us by helping us cover up our (so-called) sins in a shroud of secrecy.

We have NOTHING to hide. We have not sinned against them or anyone else, and we will not try to save ourselves from their evil plans. Our trust and faith is in the One who created the heaven and the earth. The LORD—HE is the One who will save us from their agendas. Thinking it appropriate to make that offer unfortunately proves they have no knowledge of who we are or the One we believe in.  You cannot possess true knowledge of the LORD Jesus Christ and come up with a plan to help someone hide "sin." That is what is most unsettling. The heart of the matter was once again exposed.

The TRUTH of Christ is what sets you free. In Christ Jesus there is no fear. True freedom doesn't come from being in control, true freedom comes when you give up your need to be in control and surrender your fears, pride, (fill in the _____) to Christ. I find their offer to cover-up (their own false accusations) in a secret settlement just as revealing as their offer to settle for approximately one million dollars. You can only come to the conclusion they are no longer following any kind of godly compass—and that is disheartening.  

O LORD, please give them another opportunity to surrender their hearts and lives to your authority. LORD, we continue to pray they would open their eyes to Truth and choose to change their hearts and lives. LORD, you know that if we could make the choice for them we would, but it doesn't work that way. Thank you, LORD, for being patient. Thank you, LORD, for these ten years of grace. No matter what they decide—we trust YOU. No matter what—we are following YOU.


Next Entry: Matthew 10:1 – 11:19

Fanning the Flame – 2012

March 20, 2012

At the rate I am going it is going to take me years to get through the New Testament. :)  There is just so much to process with Jesus' own words.

This week is Fanning the Flame services at church. As always, we have really enjoyed them. Dr. Bob Laurent spoke on Sunday night. He is a professor of the Old Testament. I would love to take his classes. He is just fascinating to listen to. Here are a couple of his points.

• Nowhere in the Old Testament does it indicate that the sacrifices were for intentional sins
• The Old Testament points to the need for God's grace
• The Old Testament isn't just about "the law"
• Confession—when you get rid of the sin. God already knows. It is when you are freed.
• You're never closer to God than when you run risks
• Your faith comes alive during battle
• Who are you touching for Jesus?
• The importance of ONE-ness with God.
• Love the unlovely. Touch the untouchable.

Monday - Ron Williams
He spoke about how the Israelites got in such a mess and how Christians today find themselves in such messes. They have lost the "awe" of God. Signs that you may be in danger of losing the "awe" of who HE is.

• You lose sight of God's greatness and goodness
• Your view of sin becomes small
• You choose compromise over conviction
• You choose happiness over holiness
• Your life becomes about "you" and not about God
• Your worship becomes casual

"When we reduce the size of God, we reduce our view of sin." This quote by Ron Williams is a very profound statement. When you don't "get it" and you minimize God, your view of yourself/sin gets distorted. I've written many time before that the most important thing Jane (Her Name Was Jane) taught us was the importance of praise—first and foremost. Praise brings AWE. I never connected the two together until last night. Praise keeps AWE alive and well. It puts everything in the proper perspective. God → man.  Psalm 8 - O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is YOUR name... what is man?

Dr Ronald Smith
Are you on fire or beating the bush? Are we in our own "self" protection program, or are we God-reliant? As a child Moses was saved from certain death by God. When Moses sees the injustice of what is happening to his fellow Israelites (God's people) he takes matters into his own hand and kills the Egyptian. And now here he is (in his own "self" protection program hiding as a shepherd) and God calls him by name. God knows where we are even if we are hiding. God doesn't give up on us. He pursues us. He is there if we will look up and respond, "This is Holy Ground." You never make things better by your own hand! Only God's plan works.

When we get real, God will go to the lowest rung to save us. Moses relied on his rod, again using "self" protection. God told him to throw it down and it was revealed for what it was—a snake (the devil). Any time we are trying to do "self" protection it is a tool of Satan. Once it was revealed for what it was, God told him to pick it back up. Truth was revealed. Now he, (and it) could be used because God gave it to him. It was no longer a rod of "self" protection. It was now an instrument of God. Then Dr. Smith asked this question, "What won't you give up?" What is it that you are trying to use to protect yourself? What is God asking you to throw down? Are you on fire? Or, are you beating around the bush?

Dr. Laurent, Ron Williams, and Dr. Smith ALL emphasized that the Old Testament is not just about the Law. Dr. Smith, "The Old Testament is the Gospel." Look at Hebrews 11, they are all people from the Old Testament. Oh my goodness. My words (my journal from Genesis – II Chronicles 11 that I had to send to my sister and brother-in-law when it got caught up in "the storm") gave them the Gospel! I knew it was God's words and truth was spoken, but I never thought about it as being the Gospel. Thank you Jesus for giving me the opportunity to share the truth about you!

David Leeder
He spoke about relationship. The most important relationship we have in life is our relationship with God. Some people settle for knowing about God. They "know" church, they "know" Bible, they "know" about, but they don't have an active and alive current relationship. The present reality of God in their life is gone. But where is God? How is it possible to lose God? Leeder gave the example of the lost axe head in II Kings 6. We can lose God in our busyness of serving God—doing, but not being. Another way we can lose God is in the midst of adversity. Job lost everything and in Job 23 asked "Where are you?" to God. His third example was Revelations 2 where the people lost their first love. You can lose God when you allow other things to take priority in your life. So, how can we find God again?

Psalm 42 - A renewed longing for Him. You will never experience something you don't long for. "I am desperate for you."
Psalm 63 - Where your treasure is your heart is (Matthew 6).
Colossians 3 - Set your mind/heart on things above.

You will never discover something if you are not searching for it.

Jeremiah 29:13 - When you search for me with all your heart you will find me – I will let you find me.
Psalm 51 - A renewed commitment to Him. Realizing that where I am is not where I should be. Where I am is not where I need to be.

How is it between you and God today? Have you lost God? Where did you lose Him? II Kings 6 - where did you lose it? To find it/God you must go back to where you lost Him. Where you lost the blessing is where you must go back to in order for the blessing to be restored. You must learn to trust God again. There are no short-cuts. You must go back to the fork in the road. Revelation 2:5 - Remember. Repent. Restore.

We thoroughly enjoyed the Fanning the Flame services again. It was beautiful weather each night, but each night the church was full. So glad we went. Now—back to Matthew 5.


Next Entry: Matthew 5:1–48 (Continued)

Matthew 5:1–48 (Continued)

March 16, 2012

"So when you offer your gift to God at the altar, and you remember that your brother and sister has something against you" (Not as a victim of someone else, but as the aggressor; someone who has pursued selfish desires at the expense others.) When you take your gift and remember what you have done because of your selfish desires, and why people legitimately have something against you, then "leave your gift there at the altar. Go and make peace with that person." Own up to your sin; surrender your life; go fix the damage you have caused in the wake of your actions. Quit blaming others. Quit excusing your decisions and actions. Own up to what you have done. Face the truth about yourself.

God already knows the truth. It is not hidden from Him. Confess your sins. Change your hearts and life... "and then come and offer your gift." THEN God will hear your prayers and THEN you will have forgiveness. THEN you will have peace of mind and contentment of soul. What Christ seeks from us is a heart that is like His. HIS! He doesn't want our offerings, He wants us. He wants us to be like Him and we cannot be like Him when "self" is our god. He wants from us what I wrote about on March 7 - Matthew 5:1–48. He wants a changed heart and life. When He has that—THEN and only then—our offering is an act of giving ourselves to Him as a gift in humble worship of the LORD of ALL. To do otherwise, to give an offering without a changed heart, is an inward slap in the face to God while outwardly confessing Him as LORD.

Psalm 51:17 - "The sacrifice God wants is a broken spirit. God, you will not reject a heart that is broken and sorry for sin." God wants our obedience FIRST and then our sacrifices.


Next Entry: Fanning the Flame - 2012

Matthew 5:1–48 (Continued)

March 15, 2012

I've been pondering Matthew 5:23–24 for a long time now.

"So when you offer your gift to God at the altar, and you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there at the altar. Go and make peace with that person, and then come and offer you gift."

I've been asking Jesus what exactly He means by this teaching. As we know, my sister (in her mind) has "something against me" and has filed a lawsuit accusing us of evil things and seeking harm against us. So, I read these words and I wonder—what is my responsibility here? I want to be obedient to God's words. All of them! Is He asking me to do something? I shouldn't use the word "asking." Is He "telling" me to do something? Because if He is telling me do something I will do it! So, I've been asking God, what exactly is Jesus teaching here? What do these verses mean?

I've heard many sermons where the Pastor uses the phrase, "as much as it depends on you" meaning we are responsible to go and seek peace but we are not responsible for the actions of the other person and whether they forgive, hold on to revenge, or whether the "problem" is only in their minds, etc. I've only ever heard this verse explained in what I view as a "victim" type circumstance. The other person has a problem with you, so you should go try and fix it. It wasn't your action against the other person, it was the other person's problem, but you are responsible to go and try to fix it (I have to wonder now if that is actually how it was preached or if that was how I "heard" it because of my "fix-it" personality.)

I don't think that is what this verse is saying at all. After days of asking what Jesus' teaching means, slowly His teaching became very clear. It's not about the other person at all. It is only about me (and you). It is a continuation of the prophet's teaching in the Old Testament. Let me explain. I've just spent years immersed in the Old Testament. As I am reading Matthew 5:23–24, I suddenly realized I recognized what Jesus was teaching. Jesus' teaching in Matthew is the same message the prophets were teaching in the Old Testament. So, I began to look back through the Old Testament to find the passages.

In Isaiah 1:2–20 - God says over and over "I have had enough... I am not pleased... don't continue to bring me worthless sacrifices... I can't stand your rituals... I hate your offerings." Why did God hate the way they were "doing church"? Because their lives (their walk) did not match their talk. He wanted changed hearts and lives and not just someone going through the motions. Isaiah 58 - God again talks about people who do what they want, whenever they want and then "worship" God "acting" as if they are fair and honest people while the truth is they are unfair, selfish, dishonest, etc.—all things God hates. And God says, "You cannot do these things as you do now and believe your prayers are heard in heaven." This is not what I want. "This is not the way I want people to be sorry for what they have done... I will tell you what I want."

• Free the people you have put in chains
• Be fair
• Be generous
• Be kind
• Stop making trouble
• Stop accusing

THEN—I will accept your offerings and hear you prayers. In Jeremiah 7:1–28 - God tells Jeremiah to stand at the gate of the temple to preach this message: You come through these gates to worship the LORD, but this is what I want, "Change your lives and do what is right... you must change your lives and do what is right." Be fair. Treat others right. Obedience is more that bringing me a sacrifice or an offering. I didn't only give commands about offerings and sacrifices. "I also gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Do all that I command so that good things will happen to you." Obedience is what is important—NOT offerings.

Ezekiel talks about it. Hosea talks about it. Hosea 6:8 - "I want faithful love more that I want animal sacrifices. I want people to know me more than I want burnt offerings." Amos 5 - The LORD calls Israel to repentance. Come to me! Come to me! "You turn justice upside down, and you throw on the ground what is right." You hate truth, you take money to do wrong, and you don't care about justice. And God says, "I completely hate your feasts; I cannot stand your religious meetings. If you offer me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I won't accept them."

There are many, many more references to what God wants recorded by the prophets. He doesn't want our offerings while we continue to pursue our own selfish desires. He wants changed hearts and lives.

I believe Matthew 5:23–24 is a continuation of God's message to His people through the prophets and now through Jesus. Don't bring me an offering while at the same time you are hurting, cheating, stealing, or are in any way trying to harm your brother and sister, because I don't want it, and I won't accept it. Change your hearts and lives; go to them; make it right; and then come and offer your gift.


Next Entry: Matthew 5:1–48 (Continued)