July 30, 2012
We've been back from hiking the Appalachian Trail for several weeks now. It was while we were staying at the Pheasant Field Bed and Breakfast in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, that one evening I strongly felt we were to start praying about a NEW BEGINNING. I had no idea what a "New Beginning" meant, what it was or what it was going to look like, but we started praying about it anyway.
I don't know how to explain it, but there just seems to be something different in the air: a looking forward; an anticipation. We were not "stuck" in the past, and we weren't "holding on" while waiting for the future. In spite of "the storm," we were happily living our lives in the present—day by day seeking and doing the Lord's will. And now it was as if God was saying, "It's time. It's time to start looking forward." But, how do you look forward when you don't know what forward is? So, we began to pray and seek God's will, guidance, and wisdom concerning the NEW BEGINNING, and He is slowly starting to reveal what the "New Beginning" looks like.
First and foremost, we need to always make sure we are totally God-reliant and not self-sufficient. No matter what is going on externally in our lives—good, bad, or in between—the foundation always needs to be Christ. Difficult times are often a tool God uses to bring us into a closer relationship with Him. As we search for God we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:11–13) God uses difficult times as teachable moments. It is often during times of difficulty that we begin to get a glimpse of HIS majesty.
John tells about the death of Lazarus. Jesus could have prevented his death and the pain and suffering felt by all those around him. He could have, but He purposely chose not to. John 11:15 - "And I am glad for your sakes I was not there so that you may believe. But let's go to him now." Glad! Jesus was glad because HE KNEW there was a plan. Mary and Martha only knew they were in pain and that Jesus could have prevented it. They didn't understand and couldn't see that JOY was down the path they were on.
Back in 2007, when the truth about what my sister and brother-in-law had done and what they were capable of doing became obvious, we just wanted away from them and we wanted away from them NOW! I remember my husband's prayers as we walked together every day and how he wanted the lawsuit to end quickly. Now, it is five plus years later, and we can honestly and truthfully say, "Thank goodness it was not over as quickly as we first wanted it over." We would have missed out on SO much. We have literally seen the Hand of God working in our lives. How could someone ever regret that? Jesus knew the plan. He knew the path. He knew what He wanted to show us and teach us. "I am glad for your sakes..." This whole mess was and is for our good. God has chosen the path we are on and we are content in following Him one step at a time.
I've already referenced John 11. The reason I was reading John 11 is because that is where the Life Lesson for Mark 8 sent me. The two things that struck me were: 1) God choosing not to prevent Lazarus from dying because of what He wanted to teach them; and 2) The words Jesus said when He called Lazarus out of the grave. He said, "Take off the cloths (the things which were binding him) and let him go..."
It was Jesus' lack of action that allowed Lazarus to die. Jesus made the decision not to act quickly because He wanted to have a teachable moment. So, it was God's decision that caused him to be bound. But now Jesus is saying, "Take off the cloth... let him go." I just sat in the loft and read that over and over. "Let him go... let him go... let him go!" Take off what is binding him and what is holding him captive—and let him go. When God decides the time is right, "the storm" WILL be over and the cloths which have been used to bind us (and God allowed) will be removed and we will be let go. The when is God's decision, and we are willing to calmly and patiently wait until that day happens. It is part of the NEW BEGINNING.
But, there is more. As I was writing in my Journal on Friday, (before reading John 11) a phrase came to my mind. "It doesn't matter." It doesn't matter? What doesn't matter? One thing that doesn't matter is anything my sister or brother-in-law do (or do not) do. Their questionable, immoral or illegal activities—doesn't matter. Whether they are lying or not—doesn't matter. Anything about their lives—doesn't matter. It doesn't matter!
That isn't an angry or I-don't-care-about-you statement. Not at all. It is just acknowledging that God has everything under control and that He has a plan. I don't need to know what His plan is, because it doesn't matter. My responsibility is to let go and let God. A NEW BEGINNING—it doesn't matter! I have no desire to know what is or is not happening in their lives—because it doesn't matter.
That all happened on a Friday morning. Friday night I was vacuuming and my husband was outside mowing. I was cleaning around our antique mule bin chest which was completely filled with lawsuit files. As I was cleaning a new thought (impression) came to my mind in the form of a question. "Why is all this stuff still in the house?" The question seemed strange. Why? Well... isn't it obvious? We have to keep it (duh), the lawsuit is still going—and I kept vacuuming. The same thought came again. "Why is it still in here?" I paused what I was doing and began to think about it. Well... I guess it wouldn't have to be. We could get more of those large industrial strength containers we had just purchased for another project and put the stuff in our garage I guess. There is room in the storage building/garage now that we've cleaned out some of the project's assets. In my mind I started questioning the possibilities and ramifications of removing all the items. Wouldn't it be crazy to take all of it out now? What if the lawsuit starts back up soon? But then I thought, so what if it does? It doesn't matter! You would still have it, it just won't be in the house.
I turned off the vacuum and went outside to tell my husband. He stopped the mower and I said, "I think we are supposed to store all the lawsuit stuff in the garage." I was ready to go to Menards, get the boxes, and get started, but it was already late in the evening and we decided we would stop and get more boxes on the way home from church on Sunday since we were going to our daughter's (in Ohio) in the morning. So, that is what we did. On the way home from church we stopped and purchased five more boxes to go with the one we had just purchased. By Sunday evening, all the boxes were full and stored in our detached garage.
I hated having all the vile and poisonous junk in our home. Everywhere you looked there was lawsuit junk. The mule bin chest was full. The entire bottom drawer of the large legal size file cabinet—full. The bottom three drawers of the tall office cabinet—full. The storage room downstairs—full with many items. While I hated having all the lawsuit "stuff" in our home, NEVER in all these years, did I even consider removing it before the lawsuit was over. NEVER! Before I would say, "I can't wait 'till the lawsuit is over so I can get all this evil out of here," but I never ever considered doing it while the lawsuit was still going. And then, out of nowhere, the thought comes, "Why is this stuff still in the house?" Well, by Sunday night, everything was gone and stored in the garage. Everything except the three boxes stored under the copier with the important numbered documents.
I cannot explain how freeing it is to have the house purged of the wickedness. It literally felt as if a heavy weight was lifted. Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, free at last!
If (or when) the lawsuit starts back up we still have what we need, it just isn't in the house. The last three boxes (the boxes with the numbered documents), I was going to put downstairs. Those are the "really important" files. But this morning (Monday) while in the shower I suddenly had the same impression or thought. "What are you doing with those last three boxes still in the house? Hmm. Well... those are the "really important" boxes so I thought I should keep those close by so I was going to put those boxes in the basement. And again, "Why are you holding on to those?" Okay, LORD. I'll take those out too.
I called my husband and asked him to stop and get more storage containers on his way home from an appointment. The final boxes are going to the garage.
We are either ignorantly foolish, or we are courageously obedient. Fear would say, "You know of course that as soon as you do this it will cause the lawsuit to start back up." But faith says, "Believe me! Be obedient to me! No matter what."
July 31, 2012
Here is what we are learning about the NEW BEGINNING so far:
"I am glad for your sakes I was not there so that you may believe. But let's go to him now." John 11:15
Jesus said to them, "Take the cloth off of him and let him go." John 11:44
We've been back from hiking the Appalachian Trail for several weeks now. It was while we were staying at the Pheasant Field Bed and Breakfast in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, that one evening I strongly felt we were to start praying about a NEW BEGINNING. I had no idea what a "New Beginning" meant, what it was or what it was going to look like, but we started praying about it anyway.
I don't know how to explain it, but there just seems to be something different in the air: a looking forward; an anticipation. We were not "stuck" in the past, and we weren't "holding on" while waiting for the future. In spite of "the storm," we were happily living our lives in the present—day by day seeking and doing the Lord's will. And now it was as if God was saying, "It's time. It's time to start looking forward." But, how do you look forward when you don't know what forward is? So, we began to pray and seek God's will, guidance, and wisdom concerning the NEW BEGINNING, and He is slowly starting to reveal what the "New Beginning" looks like.
First and foremost, we need to always make sure we are totally God-reliant and not self-sufficient. No matter what is going on externally in our lives—good, bad, or in between—the foundation always needs to be Christ. Difficult times are often a tool God uses to bring us into a closer relationship with Him. As we search for God we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:11–13) God uses difficult times as teachable moments. It is often during times of difficulty that we begin to get a glimpse of HIS majesty.
John tells about the death of Lazarus. Jesus could have prevented his death and the pain and suffering felt by all those around him. He could have, but He purposely chose not to. John 11:15 - "And I am glad for your sakes I was not there so that you may believe. But let's go to him now." Glad! Jesus was glad because HE KNEW there was a plan. Mary and Martha only knew they were in pain and that Jesus could have prevented it. They didn't understand and couldn't see that JOY was down the path they were on.
Back in 2007, when the truth about what my sister and brother-in-law had done and what they were capable of doing became obvious, we just wanted away from them and we wanted away from them NOW! I remember my husband's prayers as we walked together every day and how he wanted the lawsuit to end quickly. Now, it is five plus years later, and we can honestly and truthfully say, "Thank goodness it was not over as quickly as we first wanted it over." We would have missed out on SO much. We have literally seen the Hand of God working in our lives. How could someone ever regret that? Jesus knew the plan. He knew the path. He knew what He wanted to show us and teach us. "I am glad for your sakes..." This whole mess was and is for our good. God has chosen the path we are on and we are content in following Him one step at a time.
I've already referenced John 11. The reason I was reading John 11 is because that is where the Life Lesson for Mark 8 sent me. The two things that struck me were: 1) God choosing not to prevent Lazarus from dying because of what He wanted to teach them; and 2) The words Jesus said when He called Lazarus out of the grave. He said, "Take off the cloths (the things which were binding him) and let him go..."
It was Jesus' lack of action that allowed Lazarus to die. Jesus made the decision not to act quickly because He wanted to have a teachable moment. So, it was God's decision that caused him to be bound. But now Jesus is saying, "Take off the cloth... let him go." I just sat in the loft and read that over and over. "Let him go... let him go... let him go!" Take off what is binding him and what is holding him captive—and let him go. When God decides the time is right, "the storm" WILL be over and the cloths which have been used to bind us (and God allowed) will be removed and we will be let go. The when is God's decision, and we are willing to calmly and patiently wait until that day happens. It is part of the NEW BEGINNING.
But, there is more. As I was writing in my Journal on Friday, (before reading John 11) a phrase came to my mind. "It doesn't matter." It doesn't matter? What doesn't matter? One thing that doesn't matter is anything my sister or brother-in-law do (or do not) do. Their questionable, immoral or illegal activities—doesn't matter. Whether they are lying or not—doesn't matter. Anything about their lives—doesn't matter. It doesn't matter!
That isn't an angry or I-don't-care-about-you statement. Not at all. It is just acknowledging that God has everything under control and that He has a plan. I don't need to know what His plan is, because it doesn't matter. My responsibility is to let go and let God. A NEW BEGINNING—it doesn't matter! I have no desire to know what is or is not happening in their lives—because it doesn't matter.
That all happened on a Friday morning. Friday night I was vacuuming and my husband was outside mowing. I was cleaning around our antique mule bin chest which was completely filled with lawsuit files. As I was cleaning a new thought (impression) came to my mind in the form of a question. "Why is all this stuff still in the house?" The question seemed strange. Why? Well... isn't it obvious? We have to keep it (duh), the lawsuit is still going—and I kept vacuuming. The same thought came again. "Why is it still in here?" I paused what I was doing and began to think about it. Well... I guess it wouldn't have to be. We could get more of those large industrial strength containers we had just purchased for another project and put the stuff in our garage I guess. There is room in the storage building/garage now that we've cleaned out some of the project's assets. In my mind I started questioning the possibilities and ramifications of removing all the items. Wouldn't it be crazy to take all of it out now? What if the lawsuit starts back up soon? But then I thought, so what if it does? It doesn't matter! You would still have it, it just won't be in the house.
I turned off the vacuum and went outside to tell my husband. He stopped the mower and I said, "I think we are supposed to store all the lawsuit stuff in the garage." I was ready to go to Menards, get the boxes, and get started, but it was already late in the evening and we decided we would stop and get more boxes on the way home from church on Sunday since we were going to our daughter's (in Ohio) in the morning. So, that is what we did. On the way home from church we stopped and purchased five more boxes to go with the one we had just purchased. By Sunday evening, all the boxes were full and stored in our detached garage.
I hated having all the vile and poisonous junk in our home. Everywhere you looked there was lawsuit junk. The mule bin chest was full. The entire bottom drawer of the large legal size file cabinet—full. The bottom three drawers of the tall office cabinet—full. The storage room downstairs—full with many items. While I hated having all the lawsuit "stuff" in our home, NEVER in all these years, did I even consider removing it before the lawsuit was over. NEVER! Before I would say, "I can't wait 'till the lawsuit is over so I can get all this evil out of here," but I never ever considered doing it while the lawsuit was still going. And then, out of nowhere, the thought comes, "Why is this stuff still in the house?" Well, by Sunday night, everything was gone and stored in the garage. Everything except the three boxes stored under the copier with the important numbered documents.
I cannot explain how freeing it is to have the house purged of the wickedness. It literally felt as if a heavy weight was lifted. Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, free at last!
If (or when) the lawsuit starts back up we still have what we need, it just isn't in the house. The last three boxes (the boxes with the numbered documents), I was going to put downstairs. Those are the "really important" files. But this morning (Monday) while in the shower I suddenly had the same impression or thought. "What are you doing with those last three boxes still in the house? Hmm. Well... those are the "really important" boxes so I thought I should keep those close by so I was going to put those boxes in the basement. And again, "Why are you holding on to those?" Okay, LORD. I'll take those out too.
I called my husband and asked him to stop and get more storage containers on his way home from an appointment. The final boxes are going to the garage.
We are either ignorantly foolish, or we are courageously obedient. Fear would say, "You know of course that as soon as you do this it will cause the lawsuit to start back up." But faith says, "Believe me! Be obedient to me! No matter what."
July 31, 2012
Here is what we are learning about the NEW BEGINNING so far:
- Our sphere of influence is increasing and expanding;
- It doesn't matter. We don't need to know about everything that is or is not happening;
- We have been released from the oppression of the vile and poisonous junk that surrounds this lawsuit. The house is purged of ALL of it. The air is cleared.
"I am glad for your sakes I was not there so that you may believe. But let's go to him now." John 11:15
Jesus said to them, "Take the cloth off of him and let him go." John 11:44
*****
I understand I am taking a huge risk by putting my thought processes down on paper. Those who have ulterior motives would use this to say it proves I am crazy because I am making up and listening to "voices" in my head. My sister and brother-in-law have already made reference to this by claiming to be afraid of me because I (according to them) am emotionally unstable. However, I will not let the false accusations of others keep me from writing how the Holy Spirit has guided us and led us down this path. On my own I would have NEVER EVER considered taking the toxic junk out of our house. We KNOW God has guided us on this path. The things that seemed random was actually God's hand. To God be the glory for the things HE has done!
Addendum: 1/12/16 ~ Interestingly, I found out our lawyer removed all of his storage boxes (twenty some) from his office and put them in storage the exact same week that we removed all the "junk" from our home.
For three and one half years the storage boxes remained in the garage. Then before the Settlement Conference, I told our lawyer that I wasn't going to look up any of the things my sister referred to in their settlement "offer" to us unless he told me he wanted me to. Well, he responded that he did want me to review and be able to respond to her "facts" with the evidence. He wanted me to be the one doing the talking at the Settlement Conference. He wanted the judge to be able to hear directly from me and to make his own decision about who was telling the truth and what the truth was/is. So, the boxes were brought back in and I went through each one of them. What a mess. It was during the weeks before Christmas and I had large black industrial boxes with piles of paper strewn throughout our entire living room. I methodically went through everything. I pulled relevant documents out and organized them in binders, and then the boxes went back to the garage.
I'm not sure why I was to go through everything again because none of it was needed for the Settlement Conference. NONE. The judge did an awesome job and purposely did not go into any of their accusations and did not ask about the facts of the case. So, why was I to go through everything again? I don't know. Maybe it is so we are prepared for trial because everything is now in organized binders. Or maybe it is part of the trail and someday the rest of what is in the boxes can be burned. Trial? Or trail? I don't know, and I don't need to know. It doesn't matter!
In my Journal Entry for Genesis 4:1 – 5:24 (written on November 21, 2009) I wrote about why God asks us questions. It isn't because He doesn't know the answer. He asks us questions because He wants us to admit the truth. I can see more clearly now the "why" of the question, "Why are those still in here... why are you still holding on to those?" We have said all along that we believe the promises God gave us through Jane (Her Name was Jane) and the other promises He has given us throughout the nine plus years on this journey. I wrote in a letter to our lawyer clear back in 2008 that we strongly felt this lawsuit would never proceed to trial, and even though we were still in the thick of it, the end result is past tense—it is done. Then why? Why was everything still in the house? And why, after removing everything else, was I still holding on to the last three "important" boxes? We said we believed it was over. So, why?
I now believe God was showing us truth. Our house was filled with (and we were holding onto) things as if we were the ones who were going to need to prove our innocence. Obviously, we still did not completely "get it." We are to be wise, but God does not need our help. Our lawyer had me go through everything again, and not one single thing was needed. You have to wonder if it was wasted time, but I don't believe it was. It was an important reminder of where we've been; what we've gone through; and WHO is in charge of where we are going. It was also a stark reminder of what this lawsuit is really about and who my sister and brother-in-law truly are at the core.
The Settlement Conference showed us there has been no heart change. Going through everything once again only reinforced our understanding of what God has done to protect us and provide for us. HE IS IN CONTROL and we trust HIM. He does not need our help. He only needs our obedience.
Addendum #2: April 14, 2017 ~ I have finished putting my journal entries into this blog and have begun to work on getting Walking By Faith: A True Story of God's Faithfulness (the blog which tells the story of Jane) finished. In the process of doing so, I have been adding links from her blog to this blog and I came across this July 30, 2012 entry. What struck me today was Jesus' words, "Take off the cloths (the things which were binding him) and let him go..."
The very last sentence in the very last verse in the very last chapter of my journey of writing my thoughts while reading through the Bible, records the words King Cyrus used to fulfill God's promise to Jeremiah and God's last words of promise to us through Jane:
The words and melody of an old hymn are playing in my mind. I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus of Nazarene. How appropriate on this Good Friday. Easter is coming!! Praise the LORD!
Next Entry: His Hands and Feet
Addendum: 1/12/16 ~ Interestingly, I found out our lawyer removed all of his storage boxes (twenty some) from his office and put them in storage the exact same week that we removed all the "junk" from our home.
For three and one half years the storage boxes remained in the garage. Then before the Settlement Conference, I told our lawyer that I wasn't going to look up any of the things my sister referred to in their settlement "offer" to us unless he told me he wanted me to. Well, he responded that he did want me to review and be able to respond to her "facts" with the evidence. He wanted me to be the one doing the talking at the Settlement Conference. He wanted the judge to be able to hear directly from me and to make his own decision about who was telling the truth and what the truth was/is. So, the boxes were brought back in and I went through each one of them. What a mess. It was during the weeks before Christmas and I had large black industrial boxes with piles of paper strewn throughout our entire living room. I methodically went through everything. I pulled relevant documents out and organized them in binders, and then the boxes went back to the garage.
I'm not sure why I was to go through everything again because none of it was needed for the Settlement Conference. NONE. The judge did an awesome job and purposely did not go into any of their accusations and did not ask about the facts of the case. So, why was I to go through everything again? I don't know. Maybe it is so we are prepared for trial because everything is now in organized binders. Or maybe it is part of the trail and someday the rest of what is in the boxes can be burned. Trial? Or trail? I don't know, and I don't need to know. It doesn't matter!
In my Journal Entry for Genesis 4:1 – 5:24 (written on November 21, 2009) I wrote about why God asks us questions. It isn't because He doesn't know the answer. He asks us questions because He wants us to admit the truth. I can see more clearly now the "why" of the question, "Why are those still in here... why are you still holding on to those?" We have said all along that we believe the promises God gave us through Jane (Her Name was Jane) and the other promises He has given us throughout the nine plus years on this journey. I wrote in a letter to our lawyer clear back in 2008 that we strongly felt this lawsuit would never proceed to trial, and even though we were still in the thick of it, the end result is past tense—it is done. Then why? Why was everything still in the house? And why, after removing everything else, was I still holding on to the last three "important" boxes? We said we believed it was over. So, why?
I now believe God was showing us truth. Our house was filled with (and we were holding onto) things as if we were the ones who were going to need to prove our innocence. Obviously, we still did not completely "get it." We are to be wise, but God does not need our help. Our lawyer had me go through everything again, and not one single thing was needed. You have to wonder if it was wasted time, but I don't believe it was. It was an important reminder of where we've been; what we've gone through; and WHO is in charge of where we are going. It was also a stark reminder of what this lawsuit is really about and who my sister and brother-in-law truly are at the core.
The Settlement Conference showed us there has been no heart change. Going through everything once again only reinforced our understanding of what God has done to protect us and provide for us. HE IS IN CONTROL and we trust HIM. He does not need our help. He only needs our obedience.
Addendum #2: April 14, 2017 ~ I have finished putting my journal entries into this blog and have begun to work on getting Walking By Faith: A True Story of God's Faithfulness (the blog which tells the story of Jane) finished. In the process of doing so, I have been adding links from her blog to this blog and I came across this July 30, 2012 entry. What struck me today was Jesus' words, "Take off the cloths (the things which were binding him) and let him go..."
It was Jesus' lack of action that allowed Lazarus to die. Jesus made the decision to not act quickly because he wanted to have a teachable moment. So it was God's decision that caused him to be bound. But now Jesus is saying, "Take off the cloth... let him go." I just sat in the loft and read that over and over. "Let him go... let him go... let him go!" Take off what is binding him and what is holding him captive—and let him go. When God decides the time is right, "the storm" WILL be over and the cloths which have been used to bind us (and God allowed) will be removed and we will be let go. The when is God's decision, and we are willing to calmly and patiently wait until that day happens. It is part of the NEW BEGINNING.When I first wrote this in 2012, the words of Jesus obviously resounded with me. However, it wasn't until today that I saw the correlation between Jesus' words and the words King Cyrus used to free the people of Israel and thereby fulfill the promise God gave to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 33. Incredible.
In July of 2012 I didn't realize I had missed writing about the Lost Chapters between II Chronicles 11:18 and II Chronicles 36:23. I didn't write about those chapters until exactly two years later, July 2014. You can read about the Lost Chapters that God set aside for such a time as this and didn't have me read and write about until my journey of reading through the Bible was completed, here.
The very last sentence in the very last verse in the very last chapter of my journey of writing my thoughts while reading through the Bible, records the words King Cyrus used to fulfill God's promise to Jeremiah and God's last words of promise to us through Jane:
You are free to go.
The words of Jesus: "Take off the cloths... and let him go."
The words of King Cyrus as he fulfilled God's promise to Jeremiah: You are free to go.
What a surprise to read this today and see the correlation between the words of Jesus and the words of God's promise fulfilled. There will come a day when we are "free to go." There will come a day when the cloths used to bind us (the lawsuit) will be peeled away and we will be freed to change the private designation on this blog to public. The journey has been for our good and it soon will be used for the good of others as well. When the time is right, it WILL happen. There will come a day.
Next Entry: His Hands and Feet
No comments:
Post a Comment